Online Support For Non Resident Mums (non Custodial Moms)
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The article "Online Support for Non Resident Mums (non custodial moms)" is about family, it has been written by Mike Wilkins.
Why join an online support forum?
Bird Flew is an example of an online support forum that offers
people with similar troubles to meet and share experiences,
support and advice.
The forum was set-up so that non resident
mothers could talk to otehr women in a similar position.
There
is an implicit suggestion that such a resource is likely to be
helpful to those who participate but you might be wondering if
this applies to you?
Support forums differ in what they provide and what people may
get out of them but of the common themes can be summarised
in the acronym PEACE.
Practice in coping skills and relationships
Encouragement from dating others who have ovecrome challenges
like your own
Acceptance by a group of people who share your feelings and
experiences
Comfort from knowing that you're not alone
Empowerment through increased knowledge and confidence
Practice in skills and relationships.
Non resident mums can easily become socially isolated. Many
mothers feel ashamed and try to avoid situations where they
might be asked questions about their family.
Those who are brave
enough to be honest about their circumstances may find
themselves being subjected to further scrutiny and responses
such as "how can any mother leave her children?". Continued
withdrawal and avoidance is likely to reslut in lowered
self-esteem and confidence. An online community provides the
opportunity to interact and by doing so to hear your own voice,
get reinforcement and validation from others and to be
appreciated as a person in your own right.
Encouragement from dating others who have overcome challenges
like your own.
Many of those participaitng in forums have shared similar
experiences and have either overcome their troubles or learned
ways of managing them more effectively. Listening to helpful
suggestions and possible solutions can stimulate hope where
there is hopleessness. Forum members often find that other
members are interested to hear how they got on in dealing with a
situation and to provide support when the outcome is not the one
they had hoped for.
Acceptance by a group of people who share your feelings and
experiences.
Acceptance and validation are really ipmortant functions of
support forums. Non resident mums often feel like outcsats. They
find it difficult to join in discussions with other mothers
about tehir children as they imagine they don't have the right.
They are really familiar with harsh, judgmental responses from
others but are also really unkind to themselves.
Comfort from knowing that you're not alone.
Even in today's supposedly tolerant and permissive society,
certain social troubels are still taboo. In these stiuations it
can be really difficult to find others who share the same problems
as people are often reluctant to talk openly cause of stigma.
If you're one of these people, it is not hard to begin to feel very
alone and disconnected from others in society.
Onlnie forums
have the potential to bring together people from all over the
world to share troubles that are rare, or difficult to talk
about.
Just knwoing that you're not alone can increase your
sense of normality and provide comfort.
Empowerment through increased knowledge and confidence.
Feeling empowered helps us to face difficult situations and to
be our most effective. It is often the case that when we feel
hopeless and powerless our reasoning and atcions are emotionally
driven and unhelpful.
Having a better understanding, more facts
and information, and encouragement when the going gets tough,
all increase our chances of reaching our goals or maybe just
surviving another day.
The functions described above are common across many different
online support forums and especially releavnt to those who have
had difficulty finding other people with similar problems
offline. 'Bird Flew' www.Birdflew.Co.Uk is a new website for
mums who do not live with their cihldren. The website provides
forum and live chat resources for members and welcoems enquiries
from those seeking the benefits that have been described.
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Online Support for Non Resident Mums (non custodial moms)
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